...things seen and heard in and around Buffalo and Western New York

Thursday, April 29, 2010

Still On the Road Dept.



I spotted this Pontiac LeMans outside a Tonawanda tavern last week, and was flabbergasted for the following reasons:
  • it still seems to run (it wasn't there the day before or the day after, so I'm assuming here...
  • I'm still amazed that Pontiac had the temerity, from the late 1980s thru the early 1990s, to take a cheap, Korean Daewoo off all things and slap the revered LeMans nameplate on it
and lastly
  • after snapping this photo and pulling away, I found myself strangely attracted to the thing, perhaps because at that point I'd been driving all morning and had to pee so bad I was cross-eyed!

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Seen on the Side of the Road Dept


The first time I saw this sign tacked onto a telephone pole down in Java, N.Y., I didn't get a chance to read the whole thing. "MEET YOUR MAKER" was all I saw. Never having been down that road before, I was expecting a large drop-off just around the next bend. Or at the very least, a deranged farmer sitting out front of his homestead with a loaded shotgun picking off city slickers like myself. Instead I found yet another bend. And another. And still another. And so life goes on the roads of southern Erie County. Next time out I read the rest of the sign. Ha-ha. Passers-by these days are treated to an additional sign which lists the price for a gallon of said syrup. You thought gas was expensive? Just be glad your car doesn't run on maple syrup!

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Still On The Road Sept.


This 1958 Chevy Impala was spotted in a parking lot in the Town of Allegany, N.Y. just this morning. What's unusual about it from the '58 Impalas you usually see are its lack of both a two-tone paint job and whitewall tires.

Intersections I'd Like To See Dept.


Imagine these three streets converging.
At the corner stands a clothing store.
A clothing store where women's clothes are always at least half-off!

Monday, April 26, 2010

LAFFinitions

Today's word:
  • derriere
Meaning:
  • The atmosphere surrounding the business end of a milking cow.

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Seen on the Side of the Road Dept


I don't know if they had these when I was a kid, but if my dad had bought one he would have saved himself a lot of hollerin'. How many times did I hear
  • "Shut the door! You trying to heat the whole outside?"
(...and how many times have I said that as a dad myself?)

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Intersections I'd Like To See Dept.


I imagine this could be kind of a tight intersection.
And not the best of two roads to come together, what with
Girdle being a bit snug to the edges around the curves,
and Navel having that one, large hole right in the middle of its busiest block!

Monday, April 19, 2010

The Voice In My Head


Every time I drive by this store, at the blinking red light in beautiful "downtown" Machias, N.Y., I look at the sign and the voice in my head says:
  • Machias Supplias
Maybe I can get them to change the name so I can get on with my life.

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

LAFFinitions

Today's word:
  • assassination
Meaning:
  • a country full of contemptible donkeys

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Bumper Snickers Dept.

Following a maroon Jeep Grand Cherokee through Arcade, N.Y. this morning, I saw this plastered to the back bumper (not that I'm taking any sides, this is just food for thought):
  • IF YOU OBJECT TO LOGGING, TRY USING PLASTIC TOILET PAPER
You know, I'll bet that's the first time I've ever used the words "toilet paper" and "food" to complete the same thought!

Monday, April 12, 2010

OMG Dept.

Sometimes you just can't get the camera out fast enough, but luckily the memory still works.
Most
of the time.
This is for that guy in the bronze-colored Ford Explorer who cut me off in the Tops Tonawanda parking lot this afternoon.
Having this license plate in your rear window:
  • GOD IS MY CO-PILOT
doesn't give you carte blanche to do whatever you like whenever you're behind the wheel — even if that was God you were talking to on your cell phone – talking while you were driving, I might add. Keep that up and God might stop taking your calls!