tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-54049650797259053272024-02-19T04:07:33.771-05:00WNYers & Losersjimmychttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17185556289666078767noreply@blogger.comBlogger82125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5404965079725905327.post-84296394404497301232015-08-10T08:18:00.000-04:002015-08-10T08:18:04.554-04:00LAFFinitionsToday's word:<br />
<br />
<b><span style="background-color: #fff2cc; color: blue;">• asinine</span></b><br />
<br />
Meaning:<br />
<br />
• The phone message you leave your bookie, picking the obnoxious boxer to win the upcoming bout in just under ten rounds.jimmychttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17185556289666078767noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5404965079725905327.post-23010770647766466142015-05-19T19:37:00.000-04:002015-05-19T19:39:20.038-04:00Size Matters...<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3cWuRyiAjwaSSoJFS2ACWU5gX3Uzu0wGlqcMavq3OkTbOSVGZibRIbOHXAshvC9HF_uO7nm0fsF_-Ayg_bJ1o6dJ_-FmIwcxycBH4tf-e5xbIfQnY_9HOsoEZE9BW8JHL-Vsy6AOeGaA/s1600/huge+firewood.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="212" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3cWuRyiAjwaSSoJFS2ACWU5gX3Uzu0wGlqcMavq3OkTbOSVGZibRIbOHXAshvC9HF_uO7nm0fsF_-Ayg_bJ1o6dJ_-FmIwcxycBH4tf-e5xbIfQnY_9HOsoEZE9BW8JHL-Vsy6AOeGaA/s400/huge+firewood.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;">But, what if I have a small fireplace?</span><br />
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i style="font-weight: normal;">—jc</i></span></div>
jimmychttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17185556289666078767noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5404965079725905327.post-61203148626905229532012-12-12T14:19:00.000-05:002012-12-12T14:20:54.242-05:00Alpaca Llama Ding-Dong<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiv2a5pEmSSa8zsvcfvO64Y7RojVGTvytqfPz29Dvvw1fnsMkznsUDKDPTW4W5C6L8OrA02g_aTB1dF8V2-ZZIjTPtf2I3oNRr7f6XYmrvswtOC4qMPJGjtTkl4Ln2Tnopc3CA5sR1Twys/s1600/alpaca.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiv2a5pEmSSa8zsvcfvO64Y7RojVGTvytqfPz29Dvvw1fnsMkznsUDKDPTW4W5C6L8OrA02g_aTB1dF8V2-ZZIjTPtf2I3oNRr7f6XYmrvswtOC4qMPJGjtTkl4Ln2Tnopc3CA5sR1Twys/s200/alpaca.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">So today I hear an ad on the radio for some alpaca farm, and think to myself "What are alpacas good for except selling to other would-be alpaca ranchers?" </span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Then I came up with this list:</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">• alpaca-flavored gum</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">• junkyard guard alpacas</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">• alpaca-flavored vodka</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">• alpaca blind-dating service</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">• McAlpaca burgers</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">• next president of Syria</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">• Marie Callender's deep-dish alpaca pot pie</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">• successor-in-waiting to Kim Jong Un: Kim Pu Alpaca</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">• next up on FOX: </span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><i> So You Think You Can Be An Alpaca Idol With A Voice</i></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><i><br /></i></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Now if I only had a mindless, wealthy investor...</span></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
jimmychttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17185556289666078767noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5404965079725905327.post-1657752628620822092012-03-10T11:46:00.003-05:002012-03-10T11:56:00.761-05:00Let the inmates run the asylum<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgZo174s1xo35yuW82d2qpq0j_WLVG79V3r5GjBDDC1qx3K_lxBVPrBsUT3VZk-Q8TPBCF_nW02iTLm85C515ljMbr0CSfuwRP2N-uvJ-HEVdfP-PdBKrj30prXXx0PfYGkjoYyS6Cl2I0/s1600/bee+b+of+ed.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 106px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgZo174s1xo35yuW82d2qpq0j_WLVG79V3r5GjBDDC1qx3K_lxBVPrBsUT3VZk-Q8TPBCF_nW02iTLm85C515ljMbr0CSfuwRP2N-uvJ-HEVdfP-PdBKrj30prXXx0PfYGkjoYyS6Cl2I0/s400/bee+b+of+ed.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5718311231257238386" /></a><br /><br /><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"><i>(editorial headline from this week's Amherst Bee)</i></span></div><div><br /></div><div>And while we're at it, maybe Mark David Chapman and John Hinckley, Jr. should have seats on the parole board; and how about putting Howard Stern in charge of the FCC, and electing Rush Limbaugh president of NOW.</div>jimmychttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17185556289666078767noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5404965079725905327.post-80058723725167223832012-03-09T14:16:00.005-05:002012-03-09T14:27:50.868-05:00Beam me up, Scotty<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi2XikLXNzW-1VnWxP27L6A6xJ0NHe8lHyPcr7JWQNTmeZQUObYrlHlaHrn76CRUYbtTmv-Jeiwws9igac-tH9XF9jQtMyoNrUR1Ze-WY4PZ-5NL_Wuykppzuo4OTi3N57kVBPdHxqqrTs/s1600/i-beams.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 281px; height: 204px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi2XikLXNzW-1VnWxP27L6A6xJ0NHe8lHyPcr7JWQNTmeZQUObYrlHlaHrn76CRUYbtTmv-Jeiwws9igac-tH9XF9jQtMyoNrUR1Ze-WY4PZ-5NL_Wuykppzuo4OTi3N57kVBPdHxqqrTs/s400/i-beams.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5717979915985463026" /></a><br /><br /><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>As I came across this classified ad in today's<i> Tonawanda News</i>, a Tower of Power song came on my iPod. Is that some kind of a sign or what? Maybe I'll take them to my next bloggers <i>support group </i>meeting.<div><br /></div><div>The ad failed to mention a price, but I'm sure they're a real <i>steel</i>.</div></div>jimmychttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17185556289666078767noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5404965079725905327.post-24629628647878364102012-03-07T15:21:00.003-05:002012-03-07T15:35:56.613-05:00The obesitzing of America<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiB3563WctG_XBzZM6V54qE6EkTPHVQk7rrR8HrKVvNgEKHWnJnB3H3m2lreKtYveV91YcHqO_2B6-VNkJhwKZIjh3LMwYI4PHappnYKz7AntaMjrUHNt3usxg8nJVY8IZcjGB7pJozmWQ/s1600/cupckaes.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 103px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiB3563WctG_XBzZM6V54qE6EkTPHVQk7rrR8HrKVvNgEKHWnJnB3H3m2lreKtYveV91YcHqO_2B6-VNkJhwKZIjh3LMwYI4PHappnYKz7AntaMjrUHNt3usxg8nJVY8IZcjGB7pJozmWQ/s400/cupckaes.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5717253211531577650" /></a><br /><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>What a great idea — a cupcake vending machine (only $4 each!). I'm picturing this Beverly Hills cupcake shop as being between a dentist's office and the local Weight Watcher's location. Three more machines are planned to "roll out" this summer in NYC.</div><div><br /></div><div>The next vending machine craze? Defibrillators to go.</div>jimmychttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17185556289666078767noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5404965079725905327.post-40915419346704109272012-03-06T21:07:00.006-05:002012-03-06T21:20:00.986-05:00The Day the Music Dyed<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhoeMQg_dg3D3BCD6V_2eq-abxvxAaDxxbxjaNCEXNkyrR-YWxe7bIAX-6OEs198yHdVFUT7VMPiRGSKx9FvkBUX4xEffxIGtp50kd3hlJ0sriyfI8W5p3BWPy1PujQDiVhnf3VMRap-jA/s1600/rocknroll.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 57px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhoeMQg_dg3D3BCD6V_2eq-abxvxAaDxxbxjaNCEXNkyrR-YWxe7bIAX-6OEs198yHdVFUT7VMPiRGSKx9FvkBUX4xEffxIGtp50kd3hlJ0sriyfI8W5p3BWPy1PujQDiVhnf3VMRap-jA/s400/rocknroll.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5716973724006187810" /></a><br /><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>Seems that Baillie, writing for this week's edition of NCCC's school paper <i>The Spirit</i>, finally got that 51" HD flat screen television hooked up, and saw a close-up of <i>American Idol</i> judge <b>Steven Tyler</b> (a man with remarkably few gray hairs for someone quickly approaching the age of 64).</div>jimmychttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17185556289666078767noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5404965079725905327.post-52970704109874585622012-03-05T18:22:00.007-05:002012-03-05T18:34:19.831-05:00The nose have it<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjWdUTRqxTK3D0NFeMeSYcuymSa3nRs84DfndpFtiLbvbij0fv4I04LecO6F9DR-NY35Q6dRzwcDsGreZR_-H-wTqacysAx4x-z-BgnPNAtQr54IqeIhlfYnjitZTo1RS9TfEvqFec7Th4/s1600/2-29Bee.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 165px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjWdUTRqxTK3D0NFeMeSYcuymSa3nRs84DfndpFtiLbvbij0fv4I04LecO6F9DR-NY35Q6dRzwcDsGreZR_-H-wTqacysAx4x-z-BgnPNAtQr54IqeIhlfYnjitZTo1RS9TfEvqFec7Th4/s320/2-29Bee.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5716558482730803410" /></a><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>After spending an eight-hour shift in a closed-up patrol car, I'll bet the officer really <i>didn't</i> smell anything unusual in the air outside.</div><div><br /></div><div><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-size:small;">(...from the 2/29 Ken-Ton Bee Police Blotter)</span></i></div><div><i></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><i><br /></i></span><div><br /></div></div>jimmychttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17185556289666078767noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5404965079725905327.post-18080892455547164452012-03-01T12:45:00.001-05:002012-03-01T12:48:43.083-05:00The irony of Woods' wood<p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px Helvetica">So I'm reading today's sports page about Tiger Woods' big stare-off with a reporter who dared ask him about his former coach's new book, lovingly titled "The Big Miss." Hank Haney was Woods' swing coach for six years, before resigning in 2010.</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px Helvetica; min-height: 14.0px"><br /></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px Helvetica">What surprises me here is that Woods allowed Haney to remain on his team for that long after discovering that a swing coach had nothing to do with helping him meet women while on the PGA tour.</p>jimmychttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17185556289666078767noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5404965079725905327.post-76523948995142016122012-02-27T16:41:00.003-05:002012-02-27T16:51:49.415-05:00Intersections I'd Like to See Dept.<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhYWRYhA5NKDgedNEinMiANuIZJBzfF_4UJ26dHZU6DOhrg_fMP0C0nTxs8oIKyKG22j8XmStzaV1Gd1aR4UqQdXbOuYwoDwkibG02J8p4T1uYoLYdAd3k7HqriLccaduMvqWPbdFqG7nM/s1600/ward-beaver.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 229px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhYWRYhA5NKDgedNEinMiANuIZJBzfF_4UJ26dHZU6DOhrg_fMP0C0nTxs8oIKyKG22j8XmStzaV1Gd1aR4UqQdXbOuYwoDwkibG02J8p4T1uYoLYdAd3k7HqriLccaduMvqWPbdFqG7nM/s320/ward-beaver.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5713934415986712370" /></a>...and I'm sure that somewhere out there I could find a June Avenue And a Wally Street. (I know where there's already an especially Lumpy Parkway!jimmychttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17185556289666078767noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5404965079725905327.post-43859585930492960642012-02-25T14:57:00.000-05:002012-02-25T14:59:41.781-05:00Wrapping up my retirement plans<p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px Helvetica">Stopped in to a local estate sale today, where Tracy bought a vintage roll of Christmas wrapping paper with an 89¢ S.S. Kresge price sticker on it. Only cost her a buck.</p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px Helvetica">Am now working on a scheme to put all of our savings into wrapping paper and sell it in 50 years to bankroll our retirement. </p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px Helvetica">Oh wait, I'll be dead by then.</p>jimmychttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17185556289666078767noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5404965079725905327.post-9135018301942710992012-02-24T15:02:00.002-05:002012-02-24T15:06:25.045-05:00Well-done, Tartare. Food critic pulls a boner.<p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px Helvetica">Local self-proclaimed food critic Pork Tartare was recently banned from posting anymore reviews on the website<i> <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal;"><b>In the Mood for Food</b></span></i> after complaints from a local ethnic group. In a post about a local eatery, Tartare referred to the meat in a sandwich he ate as "Polish Sausage." A group calling itself <b>Poles Are People, Too</b> demanded the website discipline Tartare for demeaning an entire ethnicity by tying its national heritage to a "greasy oblong-shaped piece of meat-like food of questionable origin." They also asked that, in the future, such pieces of meat be referred to as "Irish Sausage."</p>jimmychttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17185556289666078767noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5404965079725905327.post-76644828221719583562012-02-23T14:12:00.006-05:002012-02-23T14:53:51.879-05:00180 trips from the couch to the the john and back?<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiZEjSEBWRe1zduNOmhfiYNlA0Y2m5Q9fqiW1HcsPOtoKp_6x-oJ3XcgISFEFICIAMXvw0jTDebuxB8hne7321Qjos7Rhh8tl3IvQj6VJ9_wiSaaq4rIP866bJWNsLY_DRkvvaOYDXC74Q/s1600/used+3+hrs.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 158px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiZEjSEBWRe1zduNOmhfiYNlA0Y2m5Q9fqiW1HcsPOtoKp_6x-oJ3XcgISFEFICIAMXvw0jTDebuxB8hne7321Qjos7Rhh8tl3IvQj6VJ9_wiSaaq4rIP866bJWNsLY_DRkvvaOYDXC74Q/s320/used+3+hrs.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5712419374944171906" /></a>The ad says it was only used for three hours. <div><br /></div><div>What it doesn't mention <i>(after a while you kind of learn to read between the lines of these things)</i> is that the <span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#000066;"><b>right turn signal</b></span> was on the whole time.</div>jimmychttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17185556289666078767noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5404965079725905327.post-46795136027352779692012-02-22T14:45:00.002-05:002012-02-22T14:48:44.379-05:00And a Beer to Wash It All Down<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj0eCsWyN0wxTlzUjFINnngP5Lx7viYdqhMFX4ezxLORYj0Ddd5R2pBDfluL7L4lmu6sUU5fu6L5tkl6bUnMiuWlXEHdLK7rTwiHcULOMMFxG4IrN5eX0l1BAOc_Db5GhndV86DzN_rNQ0/s1600/beer+dinner.JPG" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 184px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj0eCsWyN0wxTlzUjFINnngP5Lx7viYdqhMFX4ezxLORYj0Ddd5R2pBDfluL7L4lmu6sUU5fu6L5tkl6bUnMiuWlXEHdLK7rTwiHcULOMMFxG4IrN5eX0l1BAOc_Db5GhndV86DzN_rNQ0/s320/beer+dinner.JPG" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5712049210627798898" /></a>I see that my calendar is open for this event, but I'm waiting to find out what's for dessert before I commit.jimmychttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17185556289666078767noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5404965079725905327.post-45067781016491032162012-02-21T15:17:00.005-05:002012-02-21T15:42:14.537-05:00Write of Way<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhE69YaGVGxsRlTU5XkmzfIl-ikno3NDJH4OiNL6KV-e9b0IP3mZN8v9kqjZdhDD2wd166Oi8xBe2kQfU2-c6k-dDFKysSlCImia9uLgUkUgoXIhmoUpta4vno4255KTuvF7KjULt16BMc/s1600/Untitled-2.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 180px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhE69YaGVGxsRlTU5XkmzfIl-ikno3NDJH4OiNL6KV-e9b0IP3mZN8v9kqjZdhDD2wd166Oi8xBe2kQfU2-c6k-dDFKysSlCImia9uLgUkUgoXIhmoUpta4vno4255KTuvF7KjULt16BMc/s200/Untitled-2.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5711691460936455778" /></a>This <i>Buffalo News</i> story today mentions how the cost of traffic returning to Main Street downtown has just gone up by $263,000... for consultants' fees. Seeing that (at least, I believe) they're not removing the Metro Rail tracks, just how much does it cost for someone to figure out how to repaint new lines in the street? <div><br /></div><div>Part of the new cost is for "complete(ing) documents for the phase of the project in the 600 block of Main." <div><br /></div><div>Are they having unionized monks hand-scribe the documents? In gold ink? On parchment made from unicorn skin?</div><div><br /></div><div>I've gotta get me one of these consultant jobs.</div></div>jimmychttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17185556289666078767noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5404965079725905327.post-44403246724324490152012-02-20T14:08:00.002-05:002012-02-20T14:13:10.040-05:00LAFFinitionsToday's word:<div><b><br /></b></div><div><b><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#000099;">• violate</span></b></div><div><br /></div><div>Meaning:</div><div><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"> </span>• The guy in the string section who never seems to be on time.</div>jimmychttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17185556289666078767noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5404965079725905327.post-29560818361765915372010-07-06T19:53:00.003-04:002010-07-06T19:57:47.065-04:00Still on the Road Dept.<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiwcOYG3DTTa8fd6AHf1AQrO5giU1B5wnzfer-uLtJLlK9QsNVN1nuiH_zlinzCRNwFB0Jm9lzSuWZ2_LQkyyUrPYwTW6V0OfdX3wemajDiRuQ_0dQ9mK4CxMevUH385RlipW3CrCbFBPk/s1600/61-65+porsche+356+mayville.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 288px; height: 204px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiwcOYG3DTTa8fd6AHf1AQrO5giU1B5wnzfer-uLtJLlK9QsNVN1nuiH_zlinzCRNwFB0Jm9lzSuWZ2_LQkyyUrPYwTW6V0OfdX3wemajDiRuQ_0dQ9mK4CxMevUH385RlipW3CrCbFBPk/s320/61-65+porsche+356+mayville.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5490946104209340882" border="0" /></a><br />Just today, spotted this early-to-mid 60s <span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(0, 0, 153);">Porsche 356</span>, sitting in a driveway in that hotbed of antique sports cars, Westfield, N.Y.<br /><br />Like the car, but I'm not so sure about the HUGE luggage rack on the back!jimmychttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17185556289666078767noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5404965079725905327.post-17659460868610539602010-06-24T18:59:00.002-04:002010-06-24T19:04:57.262-04:00Sighs don't matterSaw a billboard for a Lancaster, N.Y. clothing store the other day:<br /><ul style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(0, 0, 153);"><li>All men are created equal.</li></ul> it said, followed by<br /><ul style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(0, 0, 153);"><li>Then they get dressed.</li></ul>Sigh. I suppose there are those who'd put forth the argument:<br /><br />"Then they get <span style="font-style: italic;">un</span>dressed!"jimmychttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17185556289666078767noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5404965079725905327.post-19019729929763659552010-06-01T19:47:00.002-04:002010-06-01T19:51:09.248-04:00Seen On the Side of the Road Dept.<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgSOcwDueRBfLP9a5OFfwMw8WqLWUrVFSJovzcqr4DM4v9u0zQPLPeK6VStEmL2U7FAcNPHEfbk1GF5NyGwjZmJlsjbLGAo6QyDwWa2QTOYoAytcDBZV8IWmW0F6RR2yBcDaTX3Gh9RpFc/s1600/fireworks.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 249px; height: 122px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgSOcwDueRBfLP9a5OFfwMw8WqLWUrVFSJovzcqr4DM4v9u0zQPLPeK6VStEmL2U7FAcNPHEfbk1GF5NyGwjZmJlsjbLGAo6QyDwWa2QTOYoAytcDBZV8IWmW0F6RR2yBcDaTX3Gh9RpFc/s320/fireworks.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5477956605522946850" border="0" /></a><br />Wondering what to get Dad for <span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(0, 0, 153);">Father's Day</span>?<br />Nothing says love like <span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(0, 0, 153);">explosives</span>!<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">— spotted on U.S. Rt. 219 in Great Valley, N.Y.</span>jimmychttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17185556289666078767noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5404965079725905327.post-32179131349022593182010-05-18T16:02:00.002-04:002010-05-18T16:08:48.893-04:00Ode de ToiletSo I'm in the mens' room at the <span style="font-weight: bold;">Tops</span> in <span style="font-weight: bold;">Arcade N.Y.</span>, washing my hands (even tho' no one was looking!) and I glance up to read the instructions for employees as to when <span style="font-style: italic;">they</span> should wash <span style="font-style: italic;">their</span> hands. Along with the usual was this one:<br /><ul style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(0, 0, 153);"><li>AFTER VISITING THE TOILET</li></ul>Now I've visited Grandma, visited friends, even visited a foreign country or two, but I can't remember <span style="font-style: italic;">ever</span> visiting a toilet!jimmychttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17185556289666078767noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5404965079725905327.post-13883711044454635732010-05-17T15:11:00.003-04:002010-05-17T15:16:29.267-04:00Intersections I'd Like To See Dept.<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJlYfm1MvQ1DDPV7MwpQXuUCANP1pxghyphenhyphenVzQlFH0IyOSFWwkT_x1MVnqnMGSMifU-TSonDuSdhlUgHOW8wSOp6cTQJtOYUzpyKIXSeBXCsr-0Zljh4IXPnYFopeyTcC3zK8ky6ic4fztM/s1600/lawrence-taylor.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 184px; height: 140px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJlYfm1MvQ1DDPV7MwpQXuUCANP1pxghyphenhyphenVzQlFH0IyOSFWwkT_x1MVnqnMGSMifU-TSonDuSdhlUgHOW8wSOp6cTQJtOYUzpyKIXSeBXCsr-0Zljh4IXPnYFopeyTcC3zK8ky6ic4fztM/s320/lawrence-taylor.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5472319254966169330" border="0" /></a><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">... or would I?</span><br /><br />If these two streets ever form an intersection,<br />you'd be advised to keep your teenaged<br />daughters away from it... <span style="font-weight: bold;">far, far away</span>!!jimmychttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17185556289666078767noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5404965079725905327.post-58035816750109853592010-05-12T19:20:00.003-04:002010-05-12T19:28:20.971-04:00Ads That Leave Me Wanting Dept.<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjxFrvFKW00HHqHpok3irDWXx3nIrfsxcabcWNVAxBbhXN3KEHfpmlG4ZJGgpmvUCZp6G2MFsqyg3o4oKub74uyBDn609bOttlWUqs_DmURyor8kwPNhhpQkIHR0GLXY8ScolhbSPPyB1U/s1600/land+mgr-1.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 245px; height: 234px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjxFrvFKW00HHqHpok3irDWXx3nIrfsxcabcWNVAxBbhXN3KEHfpmlG4ZJGgpmvUCZp6G2MFsqyg3o4oKub74uyBDn609bOttlWUqs_DmURyor8kwPNhhpQkIHR0GLXY8ScolhbSPPyB1U/s320/land+mgr-1.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5470528656395531602" border="0" /></a><br />Perhaps this Help Wanted ad in today's <span style="font-style: italic;">Buffalo News</span> might get more responses if somewhere in the description they mention it involves<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(0, 0, 153);"> HUGE TRACTS OF LAND!</span>jimmychttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17185556289666078767noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5404965079725905327.post-55450721885546418512010-05-11T15:19:00.002-04:002010-05-11T15:24:05.152-04:00Ads That Leave Me Wanting Dept.<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjBlTQ3bDH-kYCvZRAemhDupi0bfnIh4uITi784ydvg_tsMxvzSdtJhyIAjNhSCzg5MS9Kno0zPd77X-t6R8-dfTylj4kKdpAHOmT4H0Z1jec5MA7OvVhhvURmwKejgfSes3V0sN1sKMag/s1600/marbles.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 249px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjBlTQ3bDH-kYCvZRAemhDupi0bfnIh4uITi784ydvg_tsMxvzSdtJhyIAjNhSCzg5MS9Kno0zPd77X-t6R8-dfTylj4kKdpAHOmT4H0Z1jec5MA7OvVhhvURmwKejgfSes3V0sN1sKMag/s320/marbles.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5470094632943144130" border="0" /></a><br />I'm certainly no expert when it comes to <span style="font-weight: bold;">marbles</span>, but to think that <span style="font-weight: bold;">6,000</span> of them could be worth <span style="font-weight: bold;">$5,000</span> blows my mind! And anyone who would buy 6,000 marbles (even for the <span style="font-style: italic;">cut-rate</span> price of a mere $2,500) obviously needs them — they must have lost theirs!jimmychttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17185556289666078767noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5404965079725905327.post-55490612914303179322010-05-10T19:30:00.000-04:002010-05-10T19:31:58.055-04:00LAFFinitionsToday's word:<br /><ul><li><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 153); font-weight: bold;">propaganda</span></li></ul>Meaning:<br /><ul><li>A gander, done correctly, in Boston.</li></ul>jimmychttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17185556289666078767noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5404965079725905327.post-43163099102179444342010-05-05T20:25:00.002-04:002010-05-05T20:28:22.639-04:00Still On the Road Dept.<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiMd1-tGTi9a0XEY3qtjD5zFgW08HkIzgn2agYrOa6J0UE2puZF4pwlhFhielJiuEExUortn66nWpCoiEKs7zdP1l6UoNH3GYNXKLwSQ9EOi3E7SYv1b1s80j5dukw7rEHgx3g2fILWMdE/s1600/73+gremlin.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 238px; height: 136px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiMd1-tGTi9a0XEY3qtjD5zFgW08HkIzgn2agYrOa6J0UE2puZF4pwlhFhielJiuEExUortn66nWpCoiEKs7zdP1l6UoNH3GYNXKLwSQ9EOi3E7SYv1b1s80j5dukw7rEHgx3g2fILWMdE/s320/73+gremlin.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5467947172764573218" border="0" /></a><br />A V-8 Gremlin! This would be a 1973, judging from the shape of the side stripe. Still lookin' good in Tonawanda, N.Y. just the other day.jimmychttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17185556289666078767noreply@blogger.com0