The Bumper As A Soap Box Dept.

Saw this one today stuck on the back of a Honda Civic in the parking lot of Prime Wine & Spirits (a.k.a. Premier) on Delaware Avenue in Kenmore N.Y.:

I'M STRAIGHT
BUT I'M HARDLY NARROW

Sexuality? Morality? Size? I wondered. But not enough to stick around and see who got in the car!

Seen On the Side of the Road Dept.

I did a double-take when I passed this 1959 Panhard sitting in a side yard off Rt. 219 in Salamanca, N.Y. a while back. The first look was one of those "...what-the-heck-is-that?" looks, while the double-take was an "..I've-never-seen-one-of-these-in-real-life" looks.

The Panhard, if you're not familiar, was manufactured by the French carmaker Citroën, and even when new was rarer in this country than hen's teeth. This particular car looks like it's in the middle of a restoration, and it disappeared from the yard shortly after I snapped the photo. I don't imagine it will reappear, if ever, until winter passes. If it does I'll have to stop and chat with the owner and find out the story behind how it ended up in Salamanca.

Poetic License (Plate) Dept.

Recently spotted on the back of a black Kia Amanti, this N.Y. vanity plate:

LIL WALT

There are a few ways to interpret this:

• It was Lil and Walt out for a drive.
• Maybe rapper 'Lil Walt was out driving a very un-rapperish old guy car.
• Or, and this is the one I went with, it was some short guy named Walt. From behind where I was driving, it looked like a driverless car — all I could see from back there were two headrests!

Bimbos Baking Bread

I hear there's a waiting list a mile long of guys wanting to work here. Most of them say the pay's not great, but the side benefits are what fantasies are made of. Literally!

(spotted in Olean, N.Y.)

Still On the Road Dept.

When was the last time you spotted one of these on the road? I came across this 1957(?) BMW 300 Isetta sitting in an Elma, N.Y. parking lot recently. Although its cute factor is high, I'm not sure how safe I'd feel driving a car that included my feet and legs in its crumple zone!

In the 1957 book Treasury of Foreign Cars Old and New, author Floyd Clymer included this caption under an Isetta photo: "The Italian Isetta distributed by BMW is one of the smallest and most practical of cars and is increasingly part of the American scene." Boy, ol' Floyd sure nailed that one!

What If They Merged? Dept.

Injured? Plugged? Maybe you suffered some awful fate at the hands of
your brother-in-law's clogged toilet?

We've got you covered.

Phone Cellino, Cellino, & Barnes, the Plugged Toilet Injury Attorneys!

Slime of the Century

A 100-year-old pedophile? Yuk! I imagine when they sent him to prison nine years ago they figured that was the end of it. What they should do with this guy if he violates his parole, is lock him in a room full of mirrors. Leave him naked, and let him wake up having to look at that every day!

Somebody's Getting Paid By the Letter...

Snapped this photo a while back following a pickup pulling a small trailer bearing this Maine license plate. Just what is semi-permanent? Is that what most of us would call temporary?

Ten Commandments... 21st century Style

I wonder what some of the other Ten Commandments might look like if they were re-worded by the same person who made this simple plea outside of their wrecking yard in Bliss, N.Y....



#2 "Hey, do you eat with that mouth?"
#4 "Lighten up; your mother and father aren't as dumb as they look!"
#9 & #10 "Quit coveting my stuff, douche bag."

On the Road...

As if it's not bad enough following one of these slow-moving dump trucks, the other day I was behind one which turned down my street. Then I had to take the long way home!

From the Headlines Dept.

It was especially good to read that the woman paid back the money she stole from the Buffalo Bills.
Rumor has it that's the exact amount owner Ralph Wilson has in mind to pay a new head coach. Let the search begin!

(Church) Signs of the Times Dept.

Perhaps they'd like a crack at running General Motors.

(seen just east of the city of Olean, N.Y.)

What's in a name?

The first thought that came to my mind when I saw this sign was "I wonder what the bathrooms look like!"

Luckily this Youth Camp, just north of the Village of Cassadaga in Chautauqua County New York, was named after someone (Robert Gross, an industrialist and Banker in Dunkirk, New York. Gross donated part of the land for the camp back in 1929).

Location, location, location

I'm sure the guy who placed the following want-ad in today's Buffalo News wasn't too happy when he saw it:

"DECOYS Paying $2000+ for wooden (ph. no.)"

I don't imagine he got too many calls if readers read on to the very next ad:

"DECOYS: I will pay highest prices $5000+ for all duck decoys! (ph. no.)"

I'd say these ads were placed mallard-droitly! It really drakes the cake! The editor must have been on quack! I wonder if the first guy disputed his bill? Perhaps there were some web-footnotes at the bottom of the page in the internet version!

Does this microphone make me look fat?

Frank Sinatra Jr. was in town the other night, doing a gig at the casino in Niagara Falls, N.Y., and the the next morning's Buffalo News ran a review with a photo. The caption said, in part, "Frank Sinatra Jr. bears a striking resemblance to his late father, but his voice was really more like that of Mel Torme..."

Now I didn't see the concert, but I did see the photo. I'm not sure what he sounds like these days, but to me Frank Jr. looks more like Mel than like Frank; maybe not the hair, but check out those chins!

The Buffalo News photo of Junior is even less flattering than this one. He looks more like the offspring of a wacky marriage between William Shattner and Mickey Rooney. Click here and check it out.

The 12 Days of Christmas... and Then Some

I guess you could call it "The 12 Days of Christmas" meets "The Longest Day." The Buffalo FM radio stations WJYE and WTSS have once again started playing nothing but Christmas music. Two weeks before Thanksgiving is way too early guys! By the time Christmas rolls around, the Buffalo listening audience will be praying for both Program Directors to get run over by a reindeer. Or two.

Poetic License (Plate) Dept.

Sometimes I'm a bit dense.
It took me a few looks to realize this
wasn't trying to say "4 extra-large oser."
I guess the Bills' logo should have been a clue.
Spotted just down the road apiece from the Buffalo/Niagara Airport, on Dick Road.

Still on the Road Dept.

This 1955 Nash Ambassador Super 4-door sedan was spotted sitting outside a repair shop recently in Great Valley. I can only assume it wasn't in for warranty work!

Pedicurist's Sign Nails It

Who would have thought pedicures came in different flavors? Maybe the next Pedicure of the Month could be "Toe-fu."

(Seen along Rt. 5 in Hamburg, N.Y.)