One Foot in the Grave Dept.

Got an interesting pamphlet from the
Diocese of Buffalo Catholic Cemeteries office.
And a few things immediately came to mind:

• This must be for the previous resident
• Okay, this isn't for the previous resident — AARP must be selling its mailing list again
• Luckily it's addressed to me, and not to the wife, offering her some money-saving spousal-grave deal, but only if she ACTS NOW and uses it in the NEXT 30 DAYS!!!

Signs You've Left the City Limits Dept.

There are actually several signs here that you've left the city:

• "tractor crossing" sign
• surrounded by wind turbines
• barn should be a huge hint

This last one you had to be there for:

• waft of "fresh farm air" that hits your nostrils as you get out of the car and notice the farmer who just crossed the road on his tractor is "turning fresh ground," if you know what I mean, and a gazillion wind turbines aren't going to blow that away!

...Town of Sheldon, N.Y.

What's In A Name?

I'm sure there's a joke here somewhere...

Intersections I'd Like To See Dept.

The perfect location for a 1940's style nightclub!

Who's Shopping Where?

Why do I get the feeling that Abbott and Costello were in the room when the owners of this store were trying to decide on a name?

"What should we name this place?"
"What place?"
"The Store."
"That's perfect!"
"What's perfect?"
"The Store."
"Thanks, but what should we call it?"
"The Store."
"Yes."
"Yes what?"
"Yes, the store, what should we call it."
"The Store."
"Exactly."
"Exactly!"

...spotted in Ashford, N.Y.

(Dueling) Signs of the Times Dept.

These two signs aren't quite across the street from each other, but I'll say they're close enough for me to declare this an argument!

...spotted just east of Olean, N.Y

Signs of the Times Dept.

Oh yeah? Well I promise not to:

• mow the lawn
• trim the hedges
• weed the garden
• do the dishes
• clean the basement
• cut my toenails
• chew every mouthful 32 times before swallowing
  

and anything else that might involve
moving my behind off the recliner!

Larry King!!! LIVE!!??!!

When I first heard that Larry King would be at the Fallsview Casino in Niagara Falls, Ontario I assumed he was flying in to do a little gambling and maybe catch a show — perhaps Roger Hodgson Formerly of Supertramp In A Solo Performance (honest to God, that's how it's billed!). Then I heard a radio ad saying that King not only would be appearing on stage, but he'd be performing. Performing! What kind of act could Larry King have put together to warrant charging $50 (Canadian) to watch?

Call me when they present Mindy Cohn Formerly Of "The Facts of Life" In A Duet With Valerie Landsberg Formerly Of "Fame" With A Cameo Appearance By Moose (the late Jack Russell Terrier who played Eddie) Formerly Of "Frasier." Now that'd be a show!