Intersections I'd Like to See Dept.

...and I'm sure that somewhere out there I could find a June Avenue And a Wally Street. (I know where there's already an especially Lumpy Parkway!

Wrapping up my retirement plans

Stopped in to a local estate sale today, where Tracy bought a vintage roll of Christmas wrapping paper with an 89¢ S.S. Kresge price sticker on it. Only cost her a buck.

Am now working on a scheme to put all of our savings into wrapping paper and sell it in 50 years to bankroll our retirement.

Oh wait, I'll be dead by then.

Well-done, Tartare. Food critic pulls a boner.

Local self-proclaimed food critic Pork Tartare was recently banned from posting anymore reviews on the website In the Mood for Food after complaints from a local ethnic group. In a post about a local eatery, Tartare referred to the meat in a sandwich he ate as "Polish Sausage." A group calling itself Poles Are People, Too demanded the website discipline Tartare for demeaning an entire ethnicity by tying its national heritage to a "greasy oblong-shaped piece of meat-like food of questionable origin." They also asked that, in the future, such pieces of meat be referred to as "Irish Sausage."

180 trips from the couch to the the john and back?

The ad says it was only used for three hours.

What it doesn't mention (after a while you kind of learn to read between the lines of these things) is that the right turn signal was on the whole time.

And a Beer to Wash It All Down

I see that my calendar is open for this event, but I'm waiting to find out what's for dessert before I commit.

Write of Way

This Buffalo News story today mentions how the cost of traffic returning to Main Street downtown has just gone up by $263,000... for consultants' fees. Seeing that (at least, I believe) they're not removing the Metro Rail tracks, just how much does it cost for someone to figure out how to repaint new lines in the street?

Part of the new cost is for "complete(ing) documents for the phase of the project in the 600 block of Main."

Are they having unionized monks hand-scribe the documents? In gold ink? On parchment made from unicorn skin?

I've gotta get me one of these consultant jobs.

LAFFinitions

Today's word:

• violate

Meaning:

• The guy in the string section who never seems to be on time.